I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
