you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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