if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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