I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
