we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
