Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
