so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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