Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
