dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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