i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
