I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
