I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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