Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
