Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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