It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
