What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
