I want to have your abortion
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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