I think my fart just growled at me.
if only i could text you this smell
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
