She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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