just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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