I could have mohawked her pubes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
