Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
