My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
