Cold hands, warm shart.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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