i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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