You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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