What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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