All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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