We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
