So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you inspire me to be a worse person
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Randomize
