Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
