i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
