just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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