I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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