How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
