That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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