that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
