Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
