Jerry, you need to find god
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
