Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
