If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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