he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
