I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
