do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
