Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
