I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
