I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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