Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I can feel your judgement through the phone
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
