dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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