just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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