Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
