She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
