someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
